When we call someone powerful, we’re probably referring to their control of external conditions. An influential leader might control policies, for example. A powerful criminal might control a dangerous gang. But true power, when it refers to us personally and positively, should never be about managing other people.
Controlling other people is ultimately not difficult to do. If we are prepared to use any means, with fear and threats, some people can make others do whatever they want. But they are ultimately very fragile. Their power depends entirely on the cooperation of others.
Even if that cooperation isn’t willing, it is still their power source. Once people stop listening or cooperating, their power dissolves. People who control others or seek to control external situations are rarely, if ever, compelling.
But are you learning to control yourself and your mind? Now, that is powerful. Knowing your mind and feeling confident in yourself is a source of genuine power because it does not depend on others.
We are usually taught to work constantly to control our external circumstances. We’re repeatedly disappointed because we cannot foresee certain circumstances. For example, an illness or a partner leaving us cannot be controlled.
In reality, we can only be mighty if we learn to control our reactions and emotions. Specifically, our responses to hardship and challenges. Controlling emotions does not mean repressing them.
We must learn the difference between repressing and healthily acknowledging an emotion. We can then work to oppose it properly. For example, we can learn to control our anger by improving our empathy, compassion, and communication. We can learn to control our jealousy by training to be sincerely happy for others.
We can train our minds in many ways, from meditation to conventional therapy. But we need some day-to-day guidance. If you want to take some control over your everyday life, read on for suggestions.
Connect With Likeminded People
If we only spend time with people who disagree with us and our views, it can be easy to lose confidence in them. We may start questioning our beliefs and values close to our hearts. Isolation can set in, and we can soon feel irrevocably “different” and strange.
While it is essential to consider the views of others and keep an open mind, connecting with like-minded people can be hugely positive. Perhaps you feel strongly about education or an environmental cause, for example. You might be passionate about animal rights or even a specific type of music.
However niche your interest is, you can guarantee that someone will share it. It can be wise to begin your search locally. You never know.
One of the blessings of the internet and social media is its ability to connect people with something in common. At its best, social media facilitates communication, collaboration, and discussion. If you’re not connecting with the people around you, it might be time to cast your net a little wider.
Finding people who think along similar lines can be a very effective way to feel more powerful. It is even easier to have faith in our views if we find others who share them.
Face Your Insecurities
We all have features and qualities about ourselves that make us feel self-conscious. It may be a physical feature we constantly need to cover up. It might be our tendency to overreact or even our natural laugh.
There are several ways to face and avert insecurity depending on its type and our values. If we have a personality issue that we need to fix, our approach can be both internal and external.
We can begin by thinking deeply about where it comes from, how it harms or protects us, and what a more positive replacement would be. Then, we can communicate with people we trust to get an objective opinion. They might shed some light on the issue we hadn’t considered. They might even frame the personality trait we hate in a positive light!
Stay open-minded and try to accept constructive criticism. Visualize how you would prefer to feel if you hate being suspicious, guarded, or critical; for example, picture being relaxed and loving.
Removing unwanted personality traits should not mean becoming a doormat or less outspoken. It should mean we control our happiness and personal preferences more.
If insecurities are physical, we also have several approaches. Perhaps we could make an external change such as to our lifestyle.
If this step is not for us, we can consider how to change our view of ourselves. Practicing contentment, speaking to others, and shifting our focus from our bodies to our other qualities can all be helpful.
We become instantly more potent by facing, averting, or embracing our insecurities. We are far less vulnerable to criticism and are less likely to put up with those who don’t appreciate us. Our self-esteem should be like a loyal, unshakeable friend and always protect us, regardless of the views of others.
To become powerful, we must develop respect for ourselves if we treat ourselves fairly and respectfully and expect the same from others. We are used to thinking negatively or disrespectfully about ourselves, so it does not bother us when someone does the same. This is an intensely negative situation. You are deserving of care, love, and respect.
Start emphasizing your good qualities and inwardly congratulating yourself on achievements, however small. It is essential to create boundaries that we consider acceptable and unacceptable. In friendships and relationships, judging from the inside can be difficult.
While in a situation, assuming things objectively can become very difficult. This is why it is essential to know your boundaries ahead of time where possible. You need to identify behaviors that you consider positive and negative, acceptable or unacceptable. You are then in a position to communicate them calmly and effectively.
Be strong. If the people around you regularly cross your boundaries, communicate with them about it. If there is still no respect,t then it is often time to walk away. Life is too short for toxic or harmful situations.
We should know that damage done to us can leave a lasting impression.
It is important to separate ourselves from irreversibly negative situations quickly. By learning what is acceptable to you and not, you will feel powerful in your convictions. That power attracts people who support and respect you, whether as friends, partners, or coworkers.
Expand Your Horizons
Staying curious makes us powerful because it does not depend on others. We can undoubtedly involve others when they are willing. We can share our interests and adventures and develop our experiences with family and friends. But ultimately, pursuing our education (it doesn’t have to be formal) empowers us.
We improve our knowledge and understanding of the world and ourselves. If we feel that there is still a lot to be learned and discovered in the future, it can make present hardships far easier to deal with.
A broad appreciation for life can keep the little setbacks in perspective. We might choose to take a class or start meeting with a group. We might like to travel more or read up on gaps in our knowledge. It might simply be a case of listening sincerely and taking an interest in the lives of others.
However, we choose to express it; keeping a broad mind makes us more powerful. It enables us to take some control over our destiny and understanding. It helps us to understand the lives and concerns of others better. And it can ultimately help us become the person we want to be.
There are plenty of tasks and activities that take a little planning. But there is a difference between preparing carefully and genuine procrastination. Procrastination involves avoiding functions because of a negative reason.
Laziness, anxiety, confusion, or just demotivation can all be culprits. Procrastination is the enemy of feeling powerful because it makes us feel ineffective.
We cannot progress, take action, or move forward. Sometimes, it is essential to rest or be patient with ourselves. But then, we must be honest with ourselves about whether we are procrastinating or not.
Are there any small or easy tasks we can do to move forward? Starting with these places less demands on us but still gives the sense of moving forward. Then, we can capitalize on this momentum and achievement to make more significant changes.