In case you weren’t already aware, relationships are complex. This is true for all types of relationships, whether romantic, friendships, or relationships with family members. Relationships can start tremendously and end wildly with no warning.
People begin to get comfortable, and their true feelings and intentions show. If this happens, you must be equipped to protect your heart and sort out your feelings. That said, there are a few reasons why you need to love yourself before loving someone else.
1. To Learn How To Process Your Emotions
Emotions are so complicated. You may be up one minute, and the next, you are down. Different emotions come and go without warning. Learning to love yourself teaches you how to process your feelings.
While you may be unable to control them, you will know your triggers and the stressors you must avoid. How can you love someone and support them when they are emotional if you don’t understand your emotions?
If you are having trouble processing your emotions and still learning to love that part of yourself, I suggest journaling. The 5 Minute Journal is a great way to unload at the end of the day and put things into perspective. After using your journal for a week, you will see trends in your moods and emotions. Use these trends to find ways to process your feelings and love yourself a little more each day.
2. To Find Validation Within Yourself
A misconception that many people have is that they need another person, whether a significant other or best friend, to validate them. You must understand that everyone walking this Earth is different, so being a people pleaser doesn’t make sense.
You will never please everyone. People will have their thoughts and opinions about your choices no matter what. You do not need another person to validate you or your actions.
Before you can love someone else, you must know you can get the necessary validation. When you wake up in the morning, try using positive affirmations to set the tone of your day. Tell yourself that you are strong and beautiful.
This will help build your confidence to a point where you do not need other people for validation. If you need more information on positive affirmations, read The Miracle Morning. You will believe in yourself and your abilities in no time, and this will allow you to be able to love others properly because you feel good about your own choices.
3. To Gain Confidence
Our insecurities often hinder us from loving others. To love someone else, you have to be confident in yourself. For some reason, self-love and confidence are both things that lots of women struggle with.
We are exposed to this unrealistic picture of beauty, which hurts our faith because we don’t believe we fit the mold. The truth is, many women on television and in magazines don’t work that mold either.
One thing to remember is that your confidence has to come from within. You do not need another person to build your confidence because you will become dependent on that person. Dependency gives another person the ability to make or break you. That is the worst thing that can happen in any relationship.
To engage in healthy relationships, you must realize that you are beautiful and be confident in that statement. Do whatever you need to do to feel secure. Do it if that takes wearing makeup or shopping for a new wardrobe.
If you are most confident without makeup, don’t wear it. Do not worry about what other people say. You are working on loving yourself the way you are; that is all that matters.
4. To Learn To Be Alone
In a world where we are always connected, being alone is becoming harder and harder. It is easy to call or FaceTime someone or log into social media anytime during the day. We rarely ever make time just to be alone and check on ourselves.
Before you can love someone else, you should be in a place where you are happy spending time alone. Go to the movies, have dinner, or spend time alone at home. Unplug and relax while getting to know yourself. These intimate moments alone are vital to finding and genuinely loving yourself.
When you enter your next relationship, you will need to spend time apart from time to time to keep the relationship healthy. Your partner shouldn’t worry about whether you will be okay without them for a few hours or days. They will want to be confident that you will not fall apart and also that you will enjoy your time alone.
If you have trouble spending time alone now, try to ease into it. Sit alone in a quiet space with no electronics for 5 minutes daily. When you are ready, gradually increase the time you spend alone. Eventually, you will know yourself profoundly and enjoy being alone.
5. To Discover Your Love Language
A love language is a way that you express and experience love. Some people may need quality time to experience love, while others need physical touch. To find your love language, you must observe how you express love.
Think about how you enjoy making someone else feel special, and you will discover what you need to feel special. It sounds like an exciting concept, but going into your next relationship with this knowledge will be helpful.
I realized how I love others is also how I want to be loved. It
It hhelps me determine what I needed to feel you are going if you want to find your love language.
The Bottom Line
This all boils down to the fact that your ability to love yourself should not depend on anyone else. Love will only become valid after you make your happiness a priority. Never get so wrapped up in making someone else happy that your happiness depends on someone else being happy.
Go out and enjoy the world. Spend plenty of time alone. These things will allow you to understand better who you are as a person, and you will love yourself more each day.
How do you feel about loving yourself before thinking about loving someone else?