Living together seems like the ideal situation for every couple who are in love and serious about each other. It makes sense; after all, what could be better than waking up next to your favorite person every day, saving money by splitting the bills between and always having somebody around to talk to? Getting your items delivered to start that dream life with your dream person. Not to mention being able to be intimate whenever you want, without a schedule. But is it really as perfect as it seems? Lots of couples make the big move without being properly prepared, and because of that they end up living in frustration rather than in the romantic bliss they were expecting.
To make sure you’re prepared and know what to expect before you make your big move, here’s a list of things you should think about before you commit to a life together. In the words of author Marshall Miller, “You’re agreeing to share your lives, not just your living space.”
- You are both annoying
When you move in with your partner, you will discover that they have annoying habits, which you didn’t even notice when you were dating. Even if you did notice them, you probably thought they were cute, but the cuteness will soon wear off, and there will be times when your partner annoys you beyond belief. Maybe they snore, or they never tidy up after themselves. Think about all the annoying things your partner does and ask yourself whether you could handle them every day. But don’t be too harsh, because you might not realise it but there are things your partner finds annoying about you too.
- You’re sharing your house, not everything
Moving in with a partner is exciting because it means you’ll be able to see each other lots more. However, you need to remember to let them have some space and time to themselves, and they need to let you have the same. If you’re constantly in each other’s faces, you’re going to get fed up of each other. Make sure you both have space to do things alone like reading, watching TV and relaxing without having somebody joined at your hip the whole time.
- Think about their needs as well as your own
Before you moved in, you might have enjoyed some of the luxuries of privacy. For example, eating takeout every other day, spending ages in the shower, leaving clothes all over the floor, playing cheesy music really loudly and dancing around… but you won’t be able to do all that when you’re sharing your home, and you’ll have to make compromises on everything from what you have for dinner to what you watch on TV that night. And don’t even think about planning your interior décor without consulting your other half first. This isn’t your lad pad or girly boudoir anymore.
- Your decisions will affect each other
Now that you’re living together, you’re becoming more of a team. And, like a team, every decision one person makes will affect the other member. If you’ve been offered a great job abroad, you need to think about whether it’s worth leaving your loved one alone at home. And it’s not just the big decisions. Even going out with your friends can affect your other half. That doesn’t mean you can’t do anything you want, just talk to them first and make sure they’re okay with it. How would you feel if you came home one day needing someone to cheer you up, and found that your partner had gone off somewhere with their friends without telling you and left you a microwave dinner?
- Make sure you both know what you want
This might be the most important thing to think about before you move in together. Are you expecting the move to lead to marriage, or does the thought of marriage send a shiver down your spine? You need to talk about your future before you decide to live together, because if one of you is more committed than the other, it’ll all end in tears. And if you are thinking about marriage, you might want to consider getting engaged before you move in together, because if you wait, you might end up doing it because you feel pressured to commit, and not because you actually think you’re right for each other.