College. It’s such a funny time in life. As I reach the end of my time, kicking and screaming of course, I can’t help but think about how magical of a time it is. It’s probably the only time in life where you will have no obligations or responsibilities, but are also in charge of yourself and free for the first time. Men and women tend to fall in love during this time. But here are the top 5 reasons not to fall in love while in college.
5. Trust Issues
College is a time of alcohol, parties, and hooking up. A lot of weekends are spent in the basement of a frat where there is usually free alcohol and a lot of people looking to hook up. College is full of blackouts and mistakes. Is it cheating if he blacked out and made out with someone but doesn’t remember it, or if he was too drunk? At every party there is going to be countless people who are full of liquid courage and looking to get together. Trust issues are hard for any relationship at any time, but add in frat parties, alcohol, and the hook-up culture our generation is known for, and it’s a dangerous mix.
4. It’s a Time to Explore
College is your time for self-exploration. That can be as simple as taking an engineering course when you’re a writing major (big mistake!), to finally taking a pottery class. It can also be a time for you to explore your sexuality. College is a big judgment-free zone that should be taken advantage of. Sometimes I even have a hard time keeping track of my friend’s sexual orientation because one night he’ll be going on a date with a girl and the next he’s hooking up with a guy. If you’re in a relationship with someone whom you love, you don’t get to take advantage of this time in life when almost anything and everything you do is okay, and you might regret that later on.
3. College is a Time of Change
I guarantee you that who you are when you enter college and the person you are when you leave college will be completely different. I’m not talking about the haircuts, although you will probably be rocking many different styles, I’m talking about your morals, thoughts, and actions. During your college years, you grow from a dependent to an independent person. For the first time in your life, you are in charge of when you go to bed, what meal you cook for dinner, if that boy is going to spend the night, and if that cute dress for your formal is worth eating only ramen noodles for a month. You will be faced with many different challenges and real-world experiences when you are in college, so when you graduate, you’re not going to be the same. This makes it difficult to fall in love with someone in college because they will not be the same person a year after you meet them, and neither will you. Sometimes people feel that they can’t grow together instead they grow apart, but you will always grow.
2. Too Many Homes
Do you call college home or where you went to high school? What about when you’re interning somewhere else for the summer or when you’re abroad? Where’s home? Your life during college usually leaves you with your stuff divided across the country because you never spend a whole year living somewhere like when you were in high school. So instead of one home, you usually have many. So, no matter if you’re dating someone from home or from school, there will be long breaks when you won’t see each other. This is tricky because if you’re not dating someone who is also from your hometown and goes to the same college as you, then you’re going to have to do long distance at some point. Long distance is, unfortunately, one of the biggest struggles that relationships face. When you’re not together, you’re forced to keep your relationship alive without the other’s presence, and you have to place all your trust in them. Some relationships survive this, some don’t, but either way, it’s hard.
1. The Future
You don’t know where you are going to live after you graduate and not only that, you have no idea what’s in store for you. When you graduate you either head home, stay where you went to college, or move on to some other state. If your partner doesn’t head to the same place as you and doesn’t live near you, then you have no place where you will definitely see them again. This means long distance and not the short-term summer kind love relationships. Now it’s expensive plane tickets, “hopefully I’ll see you next weekend”, and the question of either going home for Christmas or spending it with your partner and their family. Either way, you have no idea what job offers you are going to get or where you’re going to continue your education, and this is just considering your future. There’s still your partner’s future and you can’t know whether or not they’ll coincide. That long term relationship that you’ve been longing for may not be possible. That being said, you are going to college to further your future and you don’t want the first job you take to be contingent on someone else. If you’re single you don’t have to worry about taking your third or fourth choice of job since your number one doesn’t fit his. This leads to the question of do you put yourself before your relationship or adapt your life to that of your partner?
Falling in love in college can lead to heartbreak and the reasons above are just the top five. That being said, you can’t stop love – it just happens. There may be advantages of falling in love as it would reduce stress and makes you feel good at times but it’s not always the case. Countless people make it work and stay together, get married with the support of their family members and have a happily ever after. Just know that in any relationship there are going to be rocks on your road. Married people may have a happy marriage but not all and if you fall in love in college, there might be some boulders.