Dating after college. Those three words are the worst. You no longer have an easily accessible pool of potential partners at your fingertips. No longer can you ask through the grapevine about this person before you make the first move. Everything is new, and the dating game is changed. Do not worry. Sister Tavinia is here to guide you through the ten questions. Millennials have about dating after college and how you can combat them.
1. What am I Doing with My Life?
Let’s first establish this. You have graduated college, and the world is your oyster. But what will you do with it? Will you move abroad for a year? Head to graduate school? Maybe enter the workforce? These are the things you need to think about before dating so that you can decide what you are looking for.
There’s nothing wrong with looking for just a good time. But it would suck royally if you are looking for something serious and end up moving away. Life is not like the movies where everything will just work itself out. You need to know what you’re doing before you jump into the dating after college scene.
2. Where Will I Meet Someone?
This by far is the worst part to me. Where will I meet someone? You no longer have groups you can easily join to meet someone, an encounter in the library, or being in the same classroom. I don’t know if you ever really thought of it, but man, oh man was college always presenting us with opportunities to date. And now your tuition fueled wingman is gone.
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But wait! You can still do things like that. There are plenty of opportunities to meet people after college. You can join clubs, do volunteer work, or even take a class. Just find activities that you are interested in, and if you happen to find someone there, well you know you share a common interest.
3. Are Dating Apps for Me?
There are several dating apps that work towards helping you get back out there. Match.com is a great wingman to help you begin dating. They guarantee that you'll find more of the kind of people you want to meet on their website than anywhere else. And the site is designed to give their members the best possible chance of finding love. There is no better tool to have in your corner. But Match.com is just one of many dating sites that want to ease you into the transition of dating after college. Just look at them as an opportunity producer.
4. How Do I Know It’s Real?
This is the second scariest part. After you start dating someone, how will you know it’s real? In college, there used to be some silent indicator that things were serious. The person would always come over, or you would go to the games together, sit together in the dining hall. You would do the things you normally have to do but together.
Now, this person probably has a job of their own and other activities they participate in and a different friend group. So integrating your two worlds is going to be a bit more challenging. But once again it is doable. There are millions of people dating, and they find a way to make it work so you can too. My best advice is if you want to know if it's real, all you have to do is ask. Dating after college means you are dating in the adult world and sadly adults communicate. So put on your big kid pants and communicate.
5. Marriage or Break Up?
“When dating, in the adult world, you are going to either marry that person, or you are going to break up” -Can’t remember
When I first heard this, I was petrified. I can’t remember who said it or where I was, but I remember the words as clear as day. Whoever you date will be the person you marry or break up with. GAAAHHHHH! This makes you question every person you date and ultimately adds a lot of pressure. And not just internal pressure but also external pressure. You know what I’m talking about. The holidays roll around, and your intrusive aunt begins asking, “When are you going to get a boyfriend? When will you get married? When will you give us our first born?” Yeah those annoying, slightly soul shattering, questions.
Well here is the thing to remember. Dating is supposed to be fun! You have all the time in the world to settle down if that is what you choose to do. Those intrusive questions should not be your biggest worries. You should get out there and date as much as possible because you will meet some incredible people. You’ll learn a lot about yourself and what you want in a partner. Best of all you’ll meet those people that will tell you exactly what you DON’T want in a partner. They help you grow, regardless of the outcome.
6. Can I Date More Than One Person?
This is another taboo topic. You always want to know if you can date more than one person at a time. YES, YOU CAN! As I mentioned before just moments ago, dating is supposed to be fun. Take this time to meet many people. Now if that makes you uncomfortable to date more than one person at a time, then do not do it. But you should definitely consider it! In fact, Bustle says “as long as you haven’t agreed to see anyone exclusively, it’s totally OK to date around…you should assume that your date is doing the same thing to you.”
7. What Will People Think If I Date More than One Person at a Time?
Who cares? F**k em. Next!
8.Is Hooking Up the Same as Dating?
Honestly, dating is whatever you want it to be. If this means a string of one night stands, then so be it. It should be fun so do whatever seems fun to you. Or if you are looking for something much more long term, that's fine too. Just because you are adult dating now doesn't mean it gets less complicated. We’re still humans with all those pesky feelings and disappointments that being human entails. So you set the parameters for what dating looks like for you.
9. I Just Graduated So I'm a Little Broke. Is That Ok?
Of course, it is! Unless you meet a millionaire, chances are the person you're dating would be ok saving some money as well. So try to plan something inexpensive like lunch in the park or going to a friend's BBQ #moocher4life. Just because funds are tight doesn't mean you don't deserve fun as well.
10. Still Seems Scary. Is Dating for Me?
Ultimately, that is up to you, but my vote is yes. While it is a whole new playing field, you'll figure it out. I mean you dominated college and made it out so this should be a breeze. You won't know though until you try.
So get out there and go crazy! Date like crazy while you are still young! And while these questions may still be hovering in the back of your mind, remember that you are a strong warrior goddess who can do whatever she puts her mind towards.
What advice would you offer about dating after college? Share it below in the comments sections and help your sisters out!