Dealing with Distance: Preparing Yourself for the Long Distance Relationship
With your life changing as fast as it does when you’re a millennial, there willĀ be a time where you may find yourself in a position you’ve never thought you would be in. What Iām talking about is the dreaded long distance relationship. Maybe one of you went off to grad school or even moved to a new city for a job, but this is different from when your significant other goes off to college when youāre still in high school, because guess what? Now, youāre an adult! The truth is long distance relationships are hard, but by being honest and creative, you can make it work. Trust me, Iām in one.
[irp posts=”32980″ name=”What Millennial Women Should Know About Dating, Part 1″]
Honesty
So you got your dream job, but itās across the country. It is now time to make a choice if you want to continue your relationship with your partner. No matter what, you need to know that your choice is right for you. Itās true, not everyone can handle a long distance relationship, especially if you arenāt coming back anytime soon. If you think you wonāt be able to handle the nights of loneliness, being around people with their partners, or even that one drunken night at the club, then end it. Itās rough, but dealing with the pain and shame of your choices when you arenāt honest with your partner is much worse. The same goes on the flip side; you cannot be mad at your partner if they do not want to continue a relationship with you long distance; honestly, if you canāt handle the distance then you maybe shouldnāt be together. However, donāt let distance scare you from looking at other opportunities, and don’tĀ hold your partner back. For example, in my pre-relationship stages with my current boyfriend he received an internship opportunity in Canada. Although he was super hyped about it, he wasĀ also scaredĀ to go out ofĀ fear of losing me. I didnāt want the idea of him losing such an awesome opportunity to fall on my shoulders so I told him of course I wouldnāt care. We lost a whole summer, and didnāt end up actually becoming official untilĀ February, but it was still worth it. Youāre in a very fast paced part of your life; donāt let certain fears pull you back from going for you goals.
[irp posts=”11687″ name=”Dos and Donāts of Long Distance Relationships”]
Communication
It seems obvious, but when you donāt physically see someone, communication becomes the most vital aspect of your relationship. It is how your partner will know what you are feeling, what you are doing, and how you will know the same for your partner. Our generation isĀ lucky that we haveĀ so many options for communication. Texting is a super easy wayĀ to talk to your partner throughout the day; however, texting shouldn’tĀ always be the only way you communicate. Now I know, not everyone is a phone person, but it is refreshing to hear your partnerās voice on the phone, toĀ hear tones and have a more intimate feeling then with text. Even better is using video calling, such as Skype or even Facetime. Seeing your partner reminds you why youāre trying so hard to make this relationship work because you get to see the person you love. Although communication is important, you have to remember that people do get caught up with themselves. So donāt freak out if your partner hasnāt texted you in two hours, because itās likely they are busy. Try to make it a point to have a time where you guys can have a consistent conversation. Perhaps make a weekly Skype call or text each other till you fall asleepāwhatever works for you just make sure you are talking.
[irp posts=”3034″ name=”Can Long Distance Relationships Work?”]
Creativity
Itās going to happen. Youāre going to be pent-up with a bunch of sexual frustration and not know what to do with yourself. Or, youāre going to come home and cry because youāre tired of being surrounded by couples. It sucks, but if youāre creative your partner can be there, even when they arenāt. Tackling the first problem, youāre going to want to have sex and not have your partner to satisfy that need. First of all, itās okay to feel that way; youāre an adult in an adult relationship. No judgments, I promise. Granted there are options like sexting or phone sex, (Iām sure there is even a Skype sex term I donāt know) but there is a lack of intimacy withĀ that. Donāt fear, there is ways to get off without feeling alone. To begin with, there is actually this awesome vibrator that your partner can control through an app. Interesting, (and yes expensive) but it is a way for you to lose control and connect with your partner on an intimate level without actually being together. There is also the fun clone a willy if your partner is male. You get the picture. The second is dirty letter writing. Remember that raunchy letter in Atonement? Yeah, when youāre feeling all hot and bothered write exactly what you want your partner to do. Then mail it up and send it out. That little unexpected gift in your partnerās mail box is going make them smile and then some. On to the second problem, yes, youāre going to feel unbearably lonely sometimes. What you can do is send little gifts to each other. For Valentineās Day, which is also my very clichĆ© anniversary, my boyfriend made me a deck of cards that had 52 reasons why he loved me. Granted, itās not that cuddle time I wanted, but if Iām feeling lonely I can read through those cards and get that warm feeling.
The Truth About Long Distance Relationships
I said it once and Iāll say it again, long distance relationships suck. However, it makes you and your partner stronger. If you think youāll be able to handle it, itās worth it. You have to keep looking forward and know that one day you two will be able to continue your relationship together.
Remember, you’ll see each other again. And it will probably be something like this, maybe.
Thanks for the tips š I do think communication is important! My boyfriend and I use happycoupleapp to stimulate our talks and deepen our relationship in a new way! What’s more it keeps our relationship spiced up despite the distance š