Some people have a relatively misguided idea of what a healthy relationship is.
The picture that perfect romantic harmony, understanding, and lack of confrontation between two people. Such interactions, however, are completely impossible, and they’re not healthy.
Disagreement plays an important role in romantic partnerships. It gives two people a good idea about personal values, beliefs, and boundaries. When carried out in a productive, respectful manner, a disagreement can be used as a tool for growth.
According to psychologists, conflict can be useful, and avoiding conflict can lead to problems. The reason is simple – people who do not engage in disagreements refuse to acknowledge their problems and working on them.
Obviously, there are different kinds of disagreement. While some of these can lead to constructive growth, others are toxic right from the start. So, what types of disagreement signal towards a healthy relationship? Here are some of the curious details.
1. Chores and Responsibilities
Some couples simply presume that one person or the other will be responsible for specific duties.
Such presumptions can contribute to intense feelings of dissatisfaction further down the line. It’s much better to have an argument, discuss domestic responsibilities, and come up with a mutually-beneficial outcome in the end.
Building emotional strength in a relationship can involve discussions about things that seem mundane or way too trivial in the beginning. Such issues, however, have the nagging potential to keep reappearing, causing annoyance, and eventually contributing to grand conflict.
Strong and healthy couples don’t assume things; they talk them out. So if you want to be happy and you want to ensure domestic balance/peace, discuss chores.
2. Sex and Intimacy Disagreements
It’s highly unlikely for the sexualities of two people to be in complete harmony.
While some people presume that men have stronger sexual appetites, this isn’t necessarily the case. In fact, studies of couples that experience sexual discrepancies show that the partner with the higher libido can be male or female (and the distribution is equally the same).
Talking and even disagreeing about sex is a staple of a satisfying relationship.
Many people still feel it’s a taboo to talk about what they like, how much sex they need, what their fantasies are, and whether they have specific boundaries. If these things remain unaddressed, however, a couple of risks having mediocre sex for years to come. Alternatively, one of the partners will be making a considerable compromise as far as their needs and preferences are concerned.
3. Work-Life Balance
Ensuring optimal work to life balance is one of the essential rules to strengthen your relationship. If you believe that your partner is spending way too much time at the office, it’s time to speak up and address the situation.
Many young couples find it very difficult to ensure good work to life balance. They’re career-driven, they have financial responsibilities to address, and they’re planning to start a family. All of these can push someone to engage way too much with work.
You need to achieve the golden medium.
If one member of the couple is dissatisfied with the current work to personal lifetime ratio, a discussion will need to be carried out on the topic.
4. Separate Time, Hobbies, and Friendships
Togetherness is vital in a relationship, but two people who are partners still maintain their different identities. It’s imperative not to get lost in the relationship.
Hence, disagreements about some separate time can be quite beneficial. You probably feel the need to engage with friends and your hobbies. Your partner probably has the same need. Talk about the amount of time that you’d like to spend apart and the activities that you’d like to engage in.
You may want to discuss some limitations and boundaries here. For example, you may feel uncomfortable about your partner spending time with an ex who is still their friend. Voice your concerns. A person who cares about you will work towards a solution that makes you feel more comfortable.
5. Family Member Involvement in the Relationship
Happy couples also know how to operate as a unit and limit the amount of external influence. While such outside influence is often good-intentioned, it could easily get to be too much.
Disagreeing on the level of parental and family involvement in the relationship will give you a good idea about each other’s needs. Chances are that one person in the relationship is more attached to their family than the other. Still, that person should understand their partner’s needs for privacy and alone time.
Occasionally, family members can be imposing and forceful. Such issues will undoubtedly contribute to strain and friction. It’s much better to discuss the specifics of the situation than to ignore the fact that one of the two people involved is unhappy.
This doesn’t mean you have to cut everyone out of your life. You will simply need to let your family know when and how they can be involved.
Disagreements that are carried out gently and respectively can actually cultivate a healthy relationship. Both parties state arguments, and the two partners listen to each other. Avoiding conflict isn’t right. On the contrary, it can lead to bottled up anger and resentment.
When in a relationship, you will have to learn how to disagree healthily. When you master the art of having constructive arguments, you will benefit from wonderful opportunities to bond, grow together as a couple, and also achieve more maturity as an individual.