Everyone deserves to be happy, especially when it comes to sharing their life with a significant other. While love may not be a fairytale nor reflect the plot of our favorite romantic movies, it’s always worth fighting for.
However, the flaws and imperfections of your relationship shouldn’t make you feel like a lesser person. You don’t necessarily need to feel constant fireworks around your partner. Instead, they feel like home, and being content with them is the most natural thing in the world.
Even after arguments or experiencing setbacks, you’re still a team at the end of the day getting through issues together, and not making the other the source of a problem. If your relationship feels more like a burden rather than a meaningful connection, don’t be afraid to take a step back and question if you are with the right person.
These are six signs that indicate you’re in a toxic relationship:
1. Being yourself is not an option
Do you tend to put on a persona when around your partner? No one should act differently for their significant other to please them. It’s pretending to be an entirely different person! A healthy partner who loves you would be willing to accept your quirks and flaws because they are undeniably a part of you and wouldn’t overreact over the smallest altercation or misunderstanding. Most of all, they make you feel comfortable in your skin and happy to be yourself, not ashamed.
2. Their happiness is always more important than your own
Does it always seem that you are making more sacrifices for them, rather than having an equal balance of effort? When a bad day happens, you become their emotional dumpster where they vent all their complaints. While we do need to listen to our partners, your partner shouldn’t outright put the weight of their problems on you and expect you to take care of them. Alternatively, when your happiness or well-being is compromised, you've completely pushed aside. Toxic partners value themselves above everyone else and will never see you as equally important.
3. Every day feels like an exhausting emotional battle
Fights are normal in a relationship, but they shouldn’t be an everyday occurrence or a routine part of the week. If your partner is prone to getting angry over the smallest thing or finds any excuse to complain about something, you can never move forward or mature with them. There is no reason to tiptoe around specific conversations or not perform particular actions not to provoke your partner. When an argument does arise, your first instinct should be in the mindset of overcoming it rather than feeling the need to run away.
4. They have no respect for you
A partner who has no respect for you is a detriment to your emotional well-being and self-esteem. They snap at you, interrupt you when you speak, and criticize you, causing you to feel self-conscious and insecure. Also, people make jokes all the time, but your partner shouldn’t make backhanded comments that make you question your worth. Other examples of them disrespecting you include putting down your accomplishments, arriving late to dates, flat out ignoring you, or acting passive-aggressive when they’re angry. Do they seem more like a child rather than an adult?
5. Communicating with them is a nightmare
The only conversation topics that feel safe to engage in with your partner are mundane events of non-serious matters. Communication is one of the most significant parts of a relationship since it is the foundation of trust. Without trust, a relationship cannot survive.
For example, let’s say they had a drinking problem and was aware of it, but refused to get treatment. They brush off your encouragement to consider seeking counseling and retort with the comment that one of the myths related to treatment is short-term results; there’s no point in getting help in the first place. They would go back to their old ways in no time, and all you’re doing is just nagging them.
If you feel unable to talk to your partner without fear of them becoming upset or shutting you down, then there is no trust between you two, to begin with. It’s a serious red flag when you feel safer confiding in friends or family, especially when you only tell them negative things about your partner.
6. They are controlling and act extremely possessive
Last but not least, they are obsessed with what you’re doing every single moment of the day. They want to know who you speak to and where you go as if they were hyper-supervising a teenager. You should feel secure in your relationship, not suffocated or entrapped. Subsequently, if they act jealous and possessive whenever you hang around someone that is remotely attractive in their eyes, they pressure you to stop spending time with that person because they feel that your relationship would be threatened otherwise. It feels like the only friend you can have is your partner.
Sometimes, we may not even realize we are in toxic relationships. That’s why it’s important to take a step back from we have our suspicions and consider if we are truly spending our time and life with the right person. When you recognize that you are in an unhealthy relationship, find the strength in yourself to break it off immediately. You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel capable of accomplishing your dreams and genuinely happy being alive.