Why a Woman Shouldn’t Worry About Her "Number"

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Did the title catch your attention? If you’re a woman in your 20s or 30s, you probably know what the big scary “number” means: how many sex partners you’ve had. General opinion, common gossip, and social media culture give me the impression that having a high number of partners suggests dirtiness, immorality, shame, etc. What’s more, society encourages a woman to keep her number as low as possible for as long as possible so that her future life partner won’t be bothered about her past. Heaven forbid a woman has had more than five partners in her life; she has to face demeaning and objectifying names. What’s more shocking is that the criticism doesn’t just come from the opposite sex…we get it from other women too! Why commit the girl-on-girl crime, especially when some of us have made our own mistakes? Jealousy? I find it hypocritical to put oneself on higher moral ground.

[quote]“A slut is someone, usually a woman, who’s stepped outside of the very narrow lane that good girls are supposed to stay within. Sluts are loud. We’re messy. We don’t behave. In fact, the original definition of “slut” meant “untidy woman.” But since we live in a world that relies on women to be tidy in all ways, to be quiet and obedient and agreeable and available (but never aggressive), those of us who color outside of the lines get called sluts. And that word is meant to keep us in line.”
-Jaclyn Friedman[/quote]
I think Friedman hits it spot-on. Slut-shaming, the act of demoralizing women for having casual sex, manipulates women emotionally to give society the upper hand.

[frame_left src=”http://weheartit.com/entry/group/10457#_” href=”Href”]A young couple. photo courtesy of weheartit.com[/frame_left]
I certainly believe that I am not alone in thinking the big pressure over a woman’s number is just a grand scheme to objectify people and make them feel dirty. Women, men, and humans alike are in fact human…physical, sexual, and emotional beings. While one may argue that the act of casual sex itself objectifies or disrespects a person, I take a different view. I’m not encouraging everyone to start sleeping with a handful of people, but when one partner doesn’t work out and you go to another one shortly after, a person should not be shamed for his or her “number” increase. It’s natural to want to explore your interests and experiment and date different people; isn’t that what one of the reasons our twenties is all about? Sex is just as natural as your curiosity. Just remember to practice safe sex, kids.

Some food for thought

Some people may have only one partner their whole life while others might have ten. However, each person’s “number” should not dictate the future of a relationship with someone else. Because if one’s past determines the future with someone else, does that new love interest really respect you to his or her fullest ability?

Resources: opinion, Jaclyn Friedman