There has been a lot of talk about sisterly love going on this past year, most notably in regard to the Disney animated film Frozen (2013). Animation aside, I have slowly realized over the past four years that my sister is one of my best friends – but this wasn't always so. Let me explain.
Much like Elsa and Anna, Jane and I were close as youngsters, despite her being blonde, four years my senior, and four inches taller (and the fact that I’m a total klutz and easily tongue-tied). But as we got older and I entered high school, we drifted apart. Jane was one of the most popular and involved students at our high school; as an incoming freshman, when I stated my name, people asked me if I was interested in all the same activities in which Jane participated. I wasn’t, and chose to take out my frustrations on her. One night we got in a fight in which I screamed at her and told her I hated her. We didn’t talk much for about four years following, mainly my fault. It was stupid and childish and one of my biggest regrets; hindsight is 20/20.
But things began to change once I went away to college. During my second semester away from home, I had a meltdown after some friends told me they no longer wanted anything to do with me. I then called my sister, bawling over the recent events (I’m surprised she could understand me through the sniffling and blubber). After the call, she dropped everything and drove three hours (with her now-husband) to have dinner with me. Over dinner, they invited me to spend the weekend with them in their college town. I accepted the offer, and we made the trek back to Jane’s house. We stayed up until about one or two in the morning, talking about what happened and why I deserved better. She assured me that I deserved happiness.
I finally apologized for telling her that I hated her and for not talking to her for so long. She forgave me, and we began restoring our relationship in order to truly develop a good friendship. Today, I consider Jane one of my best friends.
We don’t always get together, but when we do, we share plenty of laughs (she claims she’s the funniest member of the family, but I like to think I’m up there), amazing food (she’s a whiz in the kitchen), and always some kind of adventure (whether it’s a new place, a new gadget, or a new recipe). We belt out songs in the car and have impromptu dance parties at stoplights. We go thrift store shopping for boots, make homemade pizza (and have a flour war while rolling out the dough), and have tickle fights which she always wins. I follow her fashion advice and she faithfully reads my blog and the articles I post. I was a bridesmaid and wedding singer at her wedding, and I know she’ll be by my side at mine.
Like any “besties,” we surely don’t always get along. Jane (in all her loveliness) can be quite blunt when stating her opinion and quick to defend it. I, on the other hand, am more reserved in sharing my thoughts to people with opposite opinions, as I don’t much like conflict (oddly enough, I’m the drama queen in our family). We sometimes clash in our views on subjects, but we rarely have fights lasting more than a few minutes. It took me a while to realize that it’s perfectly fine to have drastically different personalities because those personalities can complement one another well. (I guess opposites really do attract.)
Janie, if you’re reading this: “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living, my [best friend] you’ll be.” – Robert Munsch, Love You Forever
Resources: Personal Experience, Robert Munsch’s Love You Forever (1986)
Photos courtesy of David Mendoza III
Beautifully written… sisterly love is not always there but you have learned a lot from your relationship. Know why? Because you truly have a lot of love to share!
Love you, too!
Auntie Lynn – Godmother, too.
XOXO