Has your stomach dropped into your feet? Feel like you’re going to vomit any moment? Perhaps you feel achy all over? Well, welcome. You’re dealing with rejection. It doesn’t matter if you experienced rejection in a romantic way, through your career, or on a personal level, it all feels the same. And let’s be honest, it really sucks. However, while it may not seem like it now, you will survive. So here’s how you can deal with rejection and ultimately overcome it.
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Let’s Define Rejection
Merriam-Websters definition defines rejection as the act to refuse to accept, consider, submit to, take for some purpose, or use. Pretty succinct, right? I prefer the more scientific definition though of rejection. An immune response in which foreign tissue is attacked by immune system components of the recipient organism. This definition better sums up that feeling your body goes through when you’ve been rejected. Our body works as hard as possible to fight off this foreign feeling and to make ourselves whole again. And it’s funny because we reject things all the time. You reject a certain food, television show, etc. and yet when it happens to us it is ten times worse. Makes you think about your food and show options now doesn’t it? Well, the good news is that you can feel whole again after dealing with rejection.
How to Overcome
As a recent graduate who not only left the structured classroom life she knows but also moved to the other side of the world, I know rejection. Rejection from finding a job, finding housing, even ATM’s rejecting my card (yeah I know). However, I learned a few things as to how I can dig myself out of that miserable hole.
Let yourself grieve for a moment. This pain or upset feelings is a normal emotion for human beings. We try too hard to suppress these feelings when it is much healthier to express them. My college professor used to say that she would allow herself to feel the full magnitude of a bad feeling because then it makes the overcome feel that much better. Now don’t go overboard and grovel for days. After you’ve had an appropriate amount of tie to grieve, pick yourself back up and get out there.
Find the positives
Sometimes this could literally be “well at least I didn’t die today” because the rejection has been so monumental. But no matter what there has to be some positive from this experience. Look for that
Don’t let it hold you back
You may be thinking “ok I’ll be sure to not do that again” but that is not the case. You shouldn’t limit yourself from taking risks just because you received that rejection. You can have a completely different response from someone else so you definitely want to keep trying. One of the greatest things I learned from our Editor-in-Chief Jasmine is that you should always apply for a job even if you are not fully qualified. Now, of course with applying for positions you’re not qualified for, it is going to come with some rejection but it has also helped me in the past to gain some awesome jobs. So don’t let the rejection hold you back.
Harness that power
There is a saying that there is power in rejection and I believe that to be true. When the world is expecting you to be down, all you can do it go up! There is no better source than being underestimated. Plus sometimes rejection comes because you’ve pushed the limits when they need to be pushed. Pushing the limits is what propels this world to be better and create better things.
Confront it head on
It makes you a much sounder individual if you can acknowledge your weaknesses and treat it with compassion. Abraham Maslow states that only 1%-2% of people ever truly meet self-actualization and acknowledging your flaws and rejoicing in them is a sure step towards accomplishing that.
Ask for help
Everybody needs help sometimes. You may find that you need to reach out to a friend or family member to help you move past the rejection. You may even need to seek professional assistance. That is fine! Only you know yourself and what level of help you need. Just be sure to find that assistance instead of dealing with it alone.
Do some research
There are so many great books and articles out there on how to overcome unwanted emotions and dealing with rejection. Sometimes this is a better route for you than talking to someone else. Amazon has some great books but one I would recommend is Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection. If this woman can experience 100 days of rejection and make it through, I think she definitely has some great tips.
Prepare for Next Time
Yeah, I hate to say it but there will be a next time. Everyone faces rejection more than once in their lifetime so begin preparing for it now. Take these steps and equip yourself with the emotional iron will to combat rejection. This way if you’re preparing yourself, the rejection may not feel as gargantuan and you’ll be able to move on quicker.
So be sure to remember these steps when dealing with rejection. It may suck now but it can only get better from here!
How do you deal with rejection? Share it below in the comments section to help others out!