I have the tendency to wake up early, even on my days off. My dog will get restless around six in the morning so I'll leave the comfort of my bed, and my husband to take Dolly out for a walk. This morning after I got back, I’m sitting on the couch, watching the news when my husband stomps down the stairs, into the living room, and embraces me tightly. His lips seize mine and suddenly my thoughts drift from the water main break in Anne Arundel County, to the lovely man in my arms. He’s still warm from sleep and I fall instantly under his spell. He reverses our positions and drags me on top. Then his hands move from my hair, down my back and onto my rear.
But like every woman, I’m cursed with the inability to shut off my mind. I am not an insecure woman and sex is definitely not a problem for me. However, anal has forever been off the table in my two year relationship with my man. I don’t have a problem with it, per se, but I have heard horror stories from my mother and my friends. And since then, it’s been something my husband is not allowed to bring up or ask for. I know some women get enjoyment from anal, but that particular hole always seems to tighten up when his hand roams in the back.
So I’m already uncomfortable and the summer sun is streaming through my sheer curtains, spotlighting every single imperfection of my butt. And as his hand lingers, this is my thought process:
- His hand is on my butt. It isn’t a big deal. He could just be paying it some attention and then things will go back to normal.
- Uh oh, he’s squeezing it. He’s normally a boob guy, why is he still paying so much attention to it?
- It is feeling like this is going to turn into a thing. Am I ready for this? Will I like it?
- Wait a minute, is it clean? Oh god, it’s so freaking bright in the room. If I can see everything, he can definitely see everything.
- When was the last time I showered? I came home early yesterday and plopped down on the couch. Do I stink? Does it stink?
- Maybe I’m being too “anal”. A lot of people do it, and it might be fun.
- Oh god, please don’t put a finger in it. When was the last time cut his nails?
- Ouch, it’s been awhile since he’s cut his nails.
- I haven’t “emptied” myself this morning. Can he feel it? Is that even something that could happen? Is it possible his thumb could be touching my…I can’t even think it.
- Did I do or say something for him to think I was ready to try this? Because I’m pretty sure I haven’t!
- Then again, this isn’t some bozo I’m fooling around with in the back seat of his car. This is my husband, and if I can’t trust my body with him, then who?
- I should give it a try, if he promises to be gentle.
- Damn, his thumb is really going for it. And that hangnail isn’t doing me any favors. And if his thumb feels tight, I can only imagine what his manhood is going to do to me.
- Has my mind changed?
- Whoa, that does not feel nice. Nope. Mind hasn’t changed. Finger out, climbing off.
If this makes me a prude, I’m totally okay with it. It's not that I'm unwilling to try it, it's just not in the cards yet. And there is noting wrong with waiting for the right moment to try something you're a little uncomfortable with. And if your partner is pressuring you (thank you Husband for being a gentleman most of the time), you two need to have a conversation before it becomes a problem.
I know there are other confident millennials out there who haven’t experienced anal either, and that's okay! What are your thoughts though? Is the back door an option? Or is it an exit only? Let me know in the comments.