Whether it’s a blow-out fight or a slow drift apart, a friendship breakup can be as gutting as ending a romantic relationship. I’ve had more than my share of girls I considered a best friend move out of my life and it’s one of the most heart-wrenching feelings I’ve ever experienced. When you’ve shared tons of laughs, secrets, dreams, and fun times together, letting go is tough! If you’re going through a friendship breakup, follow our tips to feel better fast.
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Don’t Blame Yourself
The first reaction when someone breaks up with you is to blame yourself. Don’t! Many times, the problem lies with the other person. Your friend may have changed what they are looking for from their friends, are working through their own emotional issues, or developed new interests. Doubting yourself and your ability to be a great friend will only harm your current relationships. Remember that you’re amazing and anyone would be lucky to have you in their squad!
A friendship breakup is a good opportunity to analyze your relationships with your other BFFs. Did your ex-friend engage in toxic behavior that you notice in your other pals? It could be that you attract a certain type of person that you actually aren’t compatible with. Consider chatting with a therapist about why this may be and how you can be a better friend.
Zen Out With Yoga
Chances are you have a lot of different emotions swirling around in your brain. Anger, sadness, confusion — they’re all normal responses to being broken up with, especially if it was sudden and unexpected. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, clear your mind and strengthen your body by doing some yoga. Focusing on moving with your breath and holding the poses keeps your mind occupied so you don’t have time to dwell.
Yoga allows you to both feel your emotions and let them go, so it’s perfect for helping you deal with a friendship breakup. Choose a restorative practice to exercise both your body and mind without going too hard. This style of yoga will make you feel amazing but doesn’t require a lot of energy so it’s great for when you are feeling stressed and drained. Want to really zen out? A practice centered around meditation will help quiet any negative thoughts and get you past any emotional blocks you’re feeling during this tough time.
Have a Good Cry
One reason that many of us feel so upset during a friendship breakup is that they often are not acknowledged. When you split with a partner, family and friends are usually quick to offer kind words, quality time, flowers, and junk food to help you cope. Lose a girlfriend, though, and chances are you’ll get a half-hearted show of pity and quickly be told to “get over it.” But just like any other breakup, taking the time and tears you need to heal your heart is key.
Pop in one of your favorite sad movies (my go-to is Les Miserables) and let it all out. If you’re really feeling down in the dumps, nothing will feel as therapeutic as a good old-fashioned crying sesh. You’ve shared a lot of memories with your friend and it’s ok to grieve about letting them go. After you’ve shed your tears, resolve to move on with your life as before. But if you still feel super sad (like you have no appetite or can’t get out of bed) after two weeks, make an appointment with your doctor or therapist; you could need help with coping in a healthy way.
Avoid Lashing Out
Though it may make you feel better in the short term, try not to act negatively towards your former friend. Gossiping, forcing other friends to choose sides, and talking smack on social media will just make you look like a bad person. Instead, write down all the things you wish you could say to your ex-pal in a letter, then tear it up or burn it. Having a safe space to tell her how the breakup hurt you or even just to say goodbye feels therapeutic but doesn’t make you out to be a drama queen. This way, you can express your feelings without hurting anyone.
Exercise is a great way to make your body and mind feel amazing. Lace up your sneakers and hit the gym to clear your head of any racing negative thoughts. There’s nothing like a full-blown sweat to boost your endorphins. Not only will your mood be better, your body will feel stronger. Going for a run or hitting Pilates class is perfect for when you’re feeling down because it lets you see what you’re capable of. The sadness you’re feeling during your friendship breakup might have you down on yourself, so vow to run an extra mile, workout at your max heart rate, or up the resistance on your bike at spin class. Try wearing a Fitbit to see concrete proof of how amazing you did. When you see how strong you are inside and out, it will help you remember what an awesome woman you are!
Focus On Your Real Friends
Don’t forget about those who do love you when you’re mourning the loss of a friend. Those who stuck by your side when the other person didn’t are your true friends and deserve your love and respect. Set up a sleepover, coffee date, or spa day with friends or family as a way to focus on all the supportive people you still have around you! Feel free to vent about your breakup for a bit, then turn the conversation to something more positive. It’s a surefire way to turn your frown upside-down!
Friendship breakups, regardless of how and why they happen, are a brutal part of life. The closer you were to your former bestie and the longer you were friends, the harder it is. Moving on with your life can be a long and difficult process but you can do it! Focus on being your best self and appreciating the people you do have in your life and you’ll feel better in no time.